Through the Lens of Memory

Tulisan oleh: Shaabirah Diyaayil Haq

What comes to mind when you sense something memorable? Take the camera out! That signal is sent straight from our brain: you need to capture this right now! Freeze the moment, and save it for later. But hey, aren’t you forgetting something? You’re not in the frame. But does that mean you’re missing from the memory too?

I think most of us have this habit of preserving things we feel are important to us, whether it is a happy, sad, funny, or even a random weird moment. I have this habit too, but the question is, am I included in the memories that I capture? People started to notice and say, “You’re always preserving other people’s memories, but you’re rarely in those memories.” But then I thought, wait… yeah? What about me? Is this a bad habit?

Well, maybe this habit doesn’t appear from thin air. I have tons of childhood photos and videos that my father neatly stored on the home computer. He organized those memories chronologically based on when he took them. When I first saw the rows of files, I thought my father was just casually keeping those photos. But as I grew older, I began to see those photos from a different perspective. Most of those moments I barely remember at all because I was too young.

But observing those photos while listening to my father recount the moments makes the pictures I stare at come alive like a scene from a movie. I can look back at what is missing from my memory. And when I look back, I am grateful that my father captured those moments for me, and they have become very precious to me. Some of them captured moments that seemed ordinary at the time, but years later, they became pieces of my childhood that I can still return to.

I think that’s why I love taking pictures for other people too. I know how meaningful it can be to have something to look back on. A random picture from years ago can suddenly bring back a person, a place, or a feeling that you thought you had forgotten.

And maybe that’s why I don’t really mind being behind the camera. I like knowing that my friends will have these little pieces of their memories to keep.

But sometimes, I do wonder about the person taking the picture.

Because while I have so many pictures of my friends, there aren’t nearly as many pictures of me being there with them. I was so focused on making sure everyone else had something to remember that I sometimes forgot that I deserved to be in those memories too.

And maybe that’s what I want to remind myself of, too: the people behind the camera deserve memories with the people they love. I want to remember them too. Not just the moments we shared, but the little details about them that I might otherwise forget.

I don’t think that means we should stop taking pictures. If anything, we should keep documenting the moments that matter to us. But sometimes, we also need to experience the moment with our own eyes, not just through a screen. Put the camera down, take in the laughter around you, or hand the camera to someone else.

Take the picture. Keep the memory. But every once in a while, make sure you’re in the frame too.